


October 31st

by lightthornn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, jily death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27306928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightthornn/pseuds/lightthornn
Summary: As the green light flashed. the memories came as a flood.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	October 31st

**Author's Note:**

> It's Halloween, and we all know what that means. Hope you guys enjoy :)

-

"Bugger off," Lily said, rolling her eyes. They were eleven, in their first year Charms class. Round faces and bright smiles, full of hope for what the word would one day be. 

"Just be my partner!" James said, sliding into the seat next to her. "You hardly ever talk to me," 

"For a reason," Lily said. "Besides: I'm already working with Severus," 

James groaned. "Him?" From the moment James had met him, he hadn't liked Severus one bit. If anything, he liked him even less. He was in Slytherin, he was friends with Lucius Malfoy, and the fact that he never combed his hair didn't help any.

"Yes, him. You don't need to remind me that you hate him so much. Don't you always work with Black anyways?" 

James sighed. "I guess," He got up and went back over to Sirius. He did usually work with his best friend, but there was something about Lily Evans that had him gravitating towards her at any given moment. He was unable to explain it, and he had never asked anyone. Sirius would tease him that he fancied her, while Remus would agree, though he wouldn't tease. Remus was the quieter of the four first-year Gryffindors. He would do his work, only occasionally giving his opinions when it came to pranking, which the other three had already participated immensely in.

"Where were you?" Sirius asked, glancing up from where he had been doodling on his parchment. 

"Was talking to Evans," James said. "Wanted to know if she'd want to work with me," 

"Why would _Evans_ want to work with _you_?" Sirius asked. 

"Thought I might as well try," James mumbled. He looked back at the board where the instructions were. "Bloody hell, I wasn't paying any attention," 

-

Lily was twelve; James still eleven. It was snowing up a storm and classes were canceled for the day. Most of the Gryffindors found themselves in the common room, getting as close to the roaring fire as possible. 

She was doing her homework. He was whispering with his friends. 

"You're sure you're okay?" James asked Remus. It had been the full moon last night. They had only discovered Remus's secret a few weeks ago; it was the first full moon where they had known where he really was," 

"I'm fine," Remus said. "Stop worrying. Really, I've had worse," 

James exchanged a worried glance with Sirius, and the two of them silently agreed to let it go. 

All of them looked up as Marlene McKinnon came into the room, barely managing to carry a light blue cake. "Lily!" She said in a singsong voice, taking it right over to the table where Lily was sitting. "Happy birthday!" 

James' eyebrows shot up; he hadn't even known that it was her birthday. If he had, he knew that he would've mentioned it. Why hadn't she?" 

Lily glared at Marlene. "I told you to not make a big deal about it," But there was still a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she looked at the cake, which had _Happy Birthday Lily!_ spelled out in tan frosting. 

"Come on everyone!" Marlene said, waving her hands. "Come on, don't you know that it's a tradition to sing to the birthday girl?" 

They all did, and James cracked a smile at Lily's bright red face, even though he hadn't seen a smile so big on her since they had arrived at Hogwarts. He had noticed long ago that her smiles never quite reached her eyes. Though, she hated him- or at least that was how she acted, so he had never asked her. You couldn't exactly walk up to a girl and ask why her smiles were never genuine. 

There was a small party, some of the older students even bringing in some firewhiskey. Sirius tried, but was caught trying to grab some. 

"Why don't you have Remus do it?" Sirius asked when he came back empty-handed. "He's the sneaky one!" 

Remus shook his head quickly. "There is no way that I am getting involved in that, no matter how much you try to convince me," 

James shook his head. "A shame, a shame," He mumbled. "Be right back," He said, smiling at his friends. He walked over to Lily, who was standing alone with a slice of cake in her hand. 

"Happy birthday, Evans," He said, unsure if she even wanted to talk to him. She probably didn't. He didn't care. 

"Thank you, Potter,"

-

First year at Hogwarts was almost done and over with. They had just finished all their exams, and James found himself out by the lake with Remus, Sirius, and Peter. Throwing a stolen golden snitch in the air and catching it every time. 

"I promise you- I'm going to make it on the team next year," James said. If he had been able, he would've been on the team that year, but stupid rules were a thing, and he had been forced to wait until the next year. He hadn't even been allowed his own broomstick, to his great despair. 

"With that ego, you might not," Remus grumbled. He was reading, and had already expressed his desire for them to be quiet. 

"The ego will only help me, Moony," They had taken to calling him Moony one day, and it had just stuck. If it bothered him, he never said anything. In fact, sometimes he even smiled at the sound of the nickname.

"What position are you going out for?" Peter asked, glancing away from the lake that he was staring out. 

"Chaser," James said. It was all he had ever wanted to do. Chasers were in the middle of the action. The seekers got all the glory, but the chasers were the ones who did everything. They were the ones darting through the crowd of brooms, passing the quaffle back and forth, making the goals that ensured their teams win. 

"You're holding a snitch?" Remus asked. "And want to be a chaser?" 

"Of course! I wouldn't want to be a seeker. Most of the time it's watching everything else happen, really," He said with a shrug. "My dad was a seeker- don't tell him I said that about his beloved position, or he might kick me out of the house," 

Sirius laughed, swinging down from where he was sitting on a branch. "Oh, Mr. Potter! Your son thinks your position is a glorified spectator!" 

James couldn't help himself; he started laughing too, and then it was Peter, and then even Remus joined in. He was laughing so much that his stomach hurt, and he knew that his face was red. He couldn't help but think about how lucky he was that he had found such amazing friends in such a short amount of time.

-

Second year rolled around, and everything was the same, but it was different. James sat across from Lily as the first years got sorted, but he hardly thought about her the second that he saw Regulus Black walk to the front of the room. Watched Sirius' face grow dark as his brother was sorted into Slytherin. The table covered in green was cheering, and he saw a few of them look right at Sirius. 

"Ignore them," He said. "They're not worth their time. Besides, aren't you glad that you're not over with them?" 

"Oh, I'm glad, alright. It was awful being home with them all summer," 

"Next summer you can come and stay with me for a while, okay?" James asked. His parents had asked if he could come over one day the second that they had found out about his existence, even when she had heard his last name. The Blacks were known for being a horrible wizarding family, with blood purity views that they would do anything to uphold. 

Sirius nodded, but he didn't seem like he was really there, much at all. 

The feast was just as food as it had been the year before, but James was worried the entire time. Sirius hardly ever mentioned his family. The only times he did was when he was talking about how glad he was to be disappointing them. 

"Do you wanna go?" James asked after fifteen minutes of Sirius staring at his plate. He shook his head. 

"I'm fine," 

It was obvious to James that he wasn't, but he didn't say anything else. 

-

Of course he had made the team. That had been a given from the moment that he tried out. He was one of the Gryffindor Chasers, and he couldn't be happier than he was when they had told him that he made it. He had been so proud of himself, and it felt like a giant weight left his shoulders. He hadn't even known that he was worried about not making it on the team. 

Nothing would ever beat the high that he felt when they won his first game, after he had made four goals. The way that he had felt like he was on top of the world. Nobody could ruin that feeling for him, it was something he knew he would remember for the rest of his life, even when he was old and grey and when his grandchildren asked about his first ever game. He hardly heard the cheering and the clapping as he flew down and landed on the ground, and he felt arms around him. He knew some of them were those of Sirius, Remus, and Peter, but he was pretty sure Frank was in there at one point. 

"We won!" He shouted. They hadn't only won; they had _destroyed_ Ravenclaw, with a score of 240-30. 

'You won!" Sirius screamed back in his face. "I knew you could do it!" 

Even Remus was right there, smiling and clapping while he mumbled about the ego that James had on him. 

He didn't care, because he had never been more glad to be alive. 

-

"Do you have to make everything a joke?" Lily asked, flinging her book onto the couch. "Really? Haven't you heard the rumors about Voldemort?" 

He had. Everyone had heard the rumors that were swimming in the last few months. He knew what Voldemort wanted, and he knew that he was quickly building more support. His parents had whispered on break that they thought there was going to be a war, when they didn't know that he was still awake, just around the corner. He had been about to grab some water, but had went back to his room as soon as he heard what they were saying. 

"I wasn't-" Lily didn't let him finish what he had been about to say. 

"You need to stop joking about everything, because you know how big of a deal this is! They're against muggleborns, you do know what that means, right? Or are you not able to relaze how terrifying the world is right now for other people?" Her face was red, like it had been on her birthday in first year, but this was a red that showed him how angry she was. 

"I'm sorry. Of course I know, Evans," Of course he knew that she could die if Voldemort rose to power. He wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box, but he wasn't stupid, either. She had been one of the first people he had thought of when he had first heard about it. Even though the two of them were always arguing and they could never seem to agree on anything, he still wanted her to be safe almost more than anything else. He needed her to be safe, almost. 

"Good," Lily said, turning on her heel. "Don't joke about it again," 

He never made another joke about Voldemort. 

-

_Dear Sirius,_

_I found some books on Animagi when I was looking through dad's library the other day. I grabbed them. I just hope that he doesn't need them anytime soon, or we might be caught. I hope not. We know that we have to do this, right? We have to do it, for Remus. He shouldn't have to be alone every time he has his transformations._

_Peter might not want to do it. He sounded scared in the last letter that I got from him, but we're still going to do it, right?_

_It looks complicated. Hell, it'll take bloody ages for us to pull it off, but it's worth it if it helps Remus._

_Remember to not tell him anything about it, it's a surprise._

_And your invitation is still open. Mum would love to have you over, she says that she would love to put a face to the name, even though I've shown her several photos already. She told me that a photo is never the same as the flesh. I suppose that she's right._

_I miss you, can't wait until third year._

_James._

_-_

They weren't even at Hogwarts yet, and James was done with Snape for the year. He had been arguing with Lily- Snape had, not James. Yet, at least. They had been shouting about Petnuia, who James knew was her sister.

"Snape, knock it off! Leave her alone!" He shouted, pulling out his wand and glaring at Snape down the other side of it. 

Lily started to say something, but Snape held out her hand, silencing her. "You're not her protector, Potter," 

"You're bothering her," James said. "I don't think that she appreciates that," 

Lily shot him a glance that he wasn't able to decipher, but he looked away from her quickly.

"Leave. Her. Alone," James said. 

"James-" Lily said, as he shot a spell at Snape. 

He didn't regret a thing through the weeks of detention after that.

-

"Remus..." James said quietly. Sirius and Peter were in detention when Remus had gotten the news in a letter. That his mum had died. It had taken long enough for James to get the words out of him, to find out what had happened. 

"Don't," Remus mumbled. 

Remus' mum was a muggle. She had been sick for a long time now, though he never said anything before. Not until now. When she was already gone. 

"Remus, I'm here for you," James said, putting a hand on his shoulder. Remus turned away from him, but James had seen the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. "Do you need anything from me?"

Ever since he had met his friends, he had always felt a strong desire to protect them. He had seen Sirius, who hadn't gotten the parents that he deserved, and he had known that he had to make sure he was still taken care of. Remus, who suffered from something that he would never be able to change, and he had known he wanted to help make his life as good as possible. Peter, who didn't tell much about his home life, but who never went to bed on time, who always needed a little extra reassurance. 

"I don't-" Remus stopped. "I don't know," 

"Just tell me if you need anything," James said quietly. "Please? I want to help you," 

Remus turned back, and James saw some tears fall from his eyes, and without even hesitating, James wrapped his arms around Remus, giving him a hug that he hoped more than anything would help, even though he doubted that it would. He could hardly even imagine what a life without his mum would be like, and he didn't want to. But, this wasn't about him. It was about Remus, and doing everything he could to help his friend to feel better. 

"I'm always here for you, okay?" 

-

"Marlene? McKinnon?" James asked, his eyes widening. "Lily's best friend, Marlene? You got a date with her?" 

Sirius nodded with a grin. "I sure did, you never thought I would do it, would you?" 

James hadn't, when Sirius had said that she was pretty, and James had encouraged him to ask her out one day. He had never thought she would actually say yes. Marlene was closer to the four of them than Lily ever was, but she still didn't adore them or anything, and she would yell at them just as much as Lily, if not more. 

"I was expecting you to get rejected for sure," James had never thought that out of all of them, Sirius would be the first one to get a date. He supposed it didn't surprise him very much. Remus had never seemed very interested, and Peter was horrible with girls, while James was too hung up on Lily Evans to even think about asking anyone else if they would like to go on a date with him. 

"Good on you, mate," James said. "Do you know where you're going?" 

"Hogsmeade, next weekend," Sirius said with a grin. "We're definitely going to go to The Three Broomsticks, and I suggested Honeydukes, she didn't seem to oppose," 

James grinned and mocked crying. "Look at you, all grown up! Going on your first date. Never thought I'd see the day," 

"Well, I _know_ that I'll never see the day where you snag a date with Evans," 

"Just wait, Sirius," James said. "I know that she'll come around one day. We just have to give her time," 

-

And just like that, they were in their fourth year. Their last year before their OWLS. Except, most days, James didn't feel like it was something to celebrate. Voldemort was just getting stronger more and more as every day went by, and he was starting to get scared. People were dying and disappearing every day. Reading the _Daily Prophet_ was now scanning the pages, waiting to read a name that you knew. It hadn't happened yet to James, but he looked at that paper and felt the same fear in his veins every single time. 

"We have to fight," Sirius said one night when they were in their dormitory.

"Sirius, we're fourteen," Remus said. He was laying down, the full moon was the next night. The other three exchanged a look. They were getting closer to finally becoming Animagi, but they still had a long way to go. 

"So?" Sirius asked. "We can still fight. We don't have to get approval from everyone else to do it, do we? We can do it by ourselves. We can't just let him continue killing people like it doesn't even matter!"

James nodded slowly. "We will. We will fight. We'll find a way, and if we have to, we'll go down fighting. Until the very end,"

-

"I love Halloween," Peter said with a smile, digging into the feast in front of him. 

"Me too, mate," James said, grinning. Lily had sat right next to him when she had walked into the room, and he was waiting until the right moment to say something. She had slowly started to warm up to her more, and he was still as infatuated with her as he always had been. It was a feeling that he knew would never go away.

They were getting older, and it was evident. They had all lost the baby fat that had once been on their faces, and their features were sharpening out to show the people who they would be one day. Along with that, came them maturing. The Marauders as a whole were still typically viewed as immature, but they all used it as a way to hide what they knew about the world; what they used to be unaware of. 

"Potter?" Lily asked, and James turned towards her. 

"Yeah, Evans?" He asked quickly. He always managed to make a fool of himself when he was around her. 

"Can you pass me the rolls?"

"Yeah, yeah. Of course." He masked his disappointment easily and turned back to Sirius, who was doing a pretty good impression of the Bloody Baron.

-

"OWLS next year," Remus said. "I'm terrified," 

"Of course you are," Sirius mumbled. "You're always worried about any test that anyone gives us," 

"You should be too!" Remus said. "You should really study more," 

"Why would we study when we already get good enough grades?" James asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Besides, they were _so_ close to finally becoming Animagi. They were right on the brink, and the three of them were certain that they would be done by next school year, that Remus finally wouldn't have to be alone once a month for a whole night, while his entire body changed and he turned into a werewolf under the glow of the full moon.

They had to do it. 

-

"Are you guys ready?" James asked. They were all in his backyard, far enough away for his parents to not be able to see them if they looked out a window. That summer, they had worked harder than they had worked on anything before. And they were sure that they had finally done it. After working for three years, they had finally finished all of the steps. It had to work. 

Sirius flipped through the pages in the book in front of him. "It says to just concentrate on why you're doing it. So... imagine Remus not being alone anymore," 

James nodded, and later when he was a magnificent stag running through the woods, with a rat on his head and a black fluffy dog by his side, he didn't have a single regret.

-

Remus flung the map on the bed. "It's done," 

Another thing that they had been working on for years now. Back in their first year, they had decided to make a map to keep from getting lost all the time. And with some extra charms, they had managed to get it to do more than they ever thought it would be able to do. It was one of their best kept secrets. 

"Great!" Sirius said. He glanced at James, who nodded. "Hey, Remus? We have a surprise for you?"

"How many time have I told you all that you never need to get me anything?" Remus asked, flushing. "I'm s- not kidding when I say that," 

"Yeah, yeah," Peter said. "We know, you think that you don't deserve anything from us even though we think that's rubbish. Anyways, we didn't get you something. Sirius, show him,"

And before Peter even got the last word out of his mouth, Sirius changed into the dog, and Remus jumped in surprise. 

"What did you guys do?" He asked, his voice suspicious. "You guys did not," 

"We did," James said with a grin, gesturing to Peter, who quickly changed into a rat. He glanced at the ceilings and frowned. "I might get my antlers stuck if I tried, but we've been trying for a few years. We wanted to do it so you didn't have to be alone. On full moons. A werewolf might kill a human, but other animals?" 

Remus' face was turning red, and for a moment, James was scared that he was mad at them, that he thought it was an awful idea. But then he started crying, and James didn't know what to do. 

"You guys didn't have to do that for me," He said, wiping his eyes. 

"Of course we did," James said, sitting on the bed next to him, Sirius and Peter soon joining him. "You're our friend," 

-

"Evans..." James said. 

The incident is what they were calling it. It had happened a few days ago. Hardly anyone had seen Lily since then. 

"James, go away," Lily said. She didn't ask how he had found her (he had used the map), and she didn't seem to care.

"I'm sorry. That was wrong of me to do," He said. He had never gotten along with Snape, but he knew that he had gone too far. That it was too much for him to have done what he did. But after what Snape had said to Lily after, he wasn't sorry about Snape. He was sorry that it had hurt Lily. 

"It's not your fault," Lily said, her voice thin. "He deserved it. Has for years. I'm sorry I never gave you a break. He's an awful person," 

James let out a breath of relief. "Oh, thank Godric. Are you okay?" 

She shrugged. "I never thought he would say it to me. I had heard him say it to other people sometimes... and I knew about those spells that he was making, but I never thought he would go that far," 

"Nobody did," James said. Snape had been her friend, even though James had never liked that, he had still been her friend, and one should never have to worry about their friend betraying them. 

Without a warning, Lily threw herself into his arms and she started to cry. Hesitantly, James wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back. "It's okay, Evans. It'll be okay," He whispered. 

-

_Dear Padfoot,_

_After reading about what they did to you, I've simply decided enough is enough._

_I've talked to Mum and she agrees with me._

_Attached is the Invisibility cloak._

_We'll be waiting at the Leaky Cauldron, you never have to go back to them._

_Prongs._

_-_

As sixth-year came around, and Lily and James were actually friends, James would love to say that he had never been happier. 

But Voldemort was such a big deal, and even though the Marauders, Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas were all slightly involved in the Order, they didn't have nearly enough people to do anything. Voldemort had so many more people, and he had more than just people. He had dark creatures on his side too. They were all so scared. 

And as life went on, Quidditch games and parties and late nights playing Truth or Dare while drunk, there was always a looming layer of terror over everyone's heads. 

"Regulus is one of them," Sirius whispered one night. "I didn't want to say anything before," 

James frowned. He had always liked Regulus enough, he hadn't seemed like he was nearly as bad as the rest of the Black family, while he was never as good as Sirius, James didn't know if that was possible. 

"He made his choice," Remus said. "We can't make people do what we want," 

-

"James, I want you to know that you're a really great friend, I'm sorry for hating you all those years," Lily said out of the blue one day. 

The word 'friend' stung, just like it always would, but James still smiled at her. "I'm glad that we're friends, too, Evans," Being friends with her would always be better than her hating him, after all. 

-

A student was killed in April. A Ravenclaw in their year. 

It was the first time that James realized just how close the war could get. 

And again, he looked at his friends, Lily included, and nodded. "Until the very end," 

-

It was their last year at Hogwarts and James lived every moment in fear. He was terrified. They all were. 

-

"I still love her, of course I do," 

He had realized two years before that his feelings for her had grown much further than liking her. He was in love with her, and he didn't think that would ever fade. It couldn't he was sure. He was in love with Lily Evans and while it was something that was supposed to terrify him to his very core, it was something that he was shockingly okay with. Through everything that was happening, he would always be in love with her, and that would never change. 

-

He was Quidditch captain and although he loved being in charge, loved the feeling of the wind in his hair and winning the games, and it was like all his dreams had come true, he was still afraid that he didn't have enough time. 

-

"Shut up and kiss me," Lily Evans told him one day while they were studying. 

And he was so happy, he thought he would burst, and he had never been happier than he was when he was kissing her, and it felt so _right_ the first time he called her his girlfriend. 

-

They graduated and didn't take even a month off before they were fighting. 

-

Funerals were happening even more often, and the worst one of all was his parent's joint one. It wasn't even Voldemort. Dragon Pox, his mother two days after his father. It had been too fast for him to catch his breath. 

-

"Marry me, Lily, marry me," 

"Yes," 

-

Instead of "til death do us part." they used something more personal. More important. 

"Until the very end." 

-

"I'm pregnant." 

And they were in the middle of the war and people were dying and nobody knew what would happen next, but James was going to be a father. 

-

"Harry." 

Nothing felt more right than his son in his arms. 

-

Harry was marked for death and they had to go into hiding and James hated every second that he was locked up in that house, but he knew that Peter would never betray them, because he was family. 

-

It was Halloween and he was playing with Harry and was in love with the sound of his son's laughter. 

-

He shoved the baby into Lily's arms. 

-

"Lily! Take Harry and go! it's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!" 

-

He forgot his wand. 

-

It was too easy. 

\- 

The green light flashed. 

-

James Potter fell like a marionette whose strings had been cut.


End file.
